I Feel Like a Failure Because My Child Is Bad
By Linda C Dipman
Excitement exploded as Bailey drove up in an ice blue, Honda Civic, with chrome spinner wheels. The car
handles were shaved and it had geometric shaped designs on both sides of the car in silver and traced in black.
The sound that came from the speakers filled the air with a rhythmic beat of heart pounding bass.
With one flick of a switch, mounted near the gear shift, the car began to show off its brand new custom
hydraulics. The guys and girls shouted approval and urged Bailey to turn up the music and show them more.
He gladly agreed and grabbed his remote to change the CD to an even better bass tune.
This was a typical Saturday night, with teenagers and young adult car clubs, meeting to show off their latest
accessories. It also brought with it gangs, drugs and booze that accompanies members who like to party hard.
The air oozed with foul language and conversations over graphic sexual exploitations.
The crowd wore colors that were symbols of their gangs and most sported tattoos, body piercing and spiked
hair with different colors. Bailey was not like the group, because he didn't talk dirty about the girls or even cuss.
He was dressed in the latest style and he loved the hot cars, but he had been raised with Christian discipline and
At sixteen all Bailey ever talked about was how he dreamed of having his own custom car store. He talked
about the money he would make and the club he would start. As the years passed and Bailey obtained his
dream, the world of cars that he loved so much began to change him.
It wasn't that Bailey let go of his faith in God, but the people he surrounded himself with began to influence a
change in how he handled his life. He was a man now and he could do what he wanted and he didn't have to
live his life like his parents. He wanted to be apart of the 'in crowd'.
He became ungrateful and full of pride towards his parents. He only loved them when they gave him what he
wanted. His only motivation was to go to parties and to do what they said was fun. He began to have sex with
his girlfriend and stay out all night. He became violent and verbally abusive to his parents. He began to drink
and he got into fights. Finally his girlfriend became pregnant.
Today the condition of our world has generated many stories like Bailey's. Most parents of rebellious
children do not have a clue on how to handle a child who has taken a sudden turn for the worse. They can tell
countless stories of fights over curfews, and quarrels they had over the friends they chose to hang out with.
These are parents, who tried to teach their child to make right choices, now feel like failures. They even feel
that God has abandoned them!
How can this happen to parents that are good and loving? Parents, who took their child to church, taught him
how to pray and practiced their faith religiously? How can a child who has been given right moral teachings turn
out to be so bad? More importantly, how can I fix my child?
The first thing a parent needs to understand is the purpose of our world. When Adam ate the apple he
brought sin into the world. Suddenly our world was no longer perfect and all people became players in a world
game that teaches them the difference between right and wrong.
Satan entered into the world to tempt people into doing evil and God fought back by giving us the Rules to
the game of life. God gave us the Ten Commandments and later He sent His Son to be the Savior of the world.
The Laws condemned man's sinful nature, but Jesus' death on the cross changed the rules of the game of
life by introducing the world to the concept of faith and grace. Grace makes it possible for God's children to take
wrong paths in life. This is why there are good, Christian teenagers, who are lured and trapped by the lust of
sex. This is why Christian young people make bad decisions with whom they associate with. More importantly,
this is why it is easy to make mistakes when we are all players in an intricate multi-faceted world game.
Romans 11: 32, "For God has made all people prisoners of disobedience, so that he might show mercy to
It is very important that Christian parents understand this verse. When you live in an evil world, your children
will be tempted and many times they will fail the test by giving into the temptation. If we understand our world
then we will allow our children, without judging them harshly, to make mistakes. For they are destined to fail
many tests in life. God takes our failures and demonstrates why this kind of behavior is destructive through the
trials they face when they take a wrong path.
Romans 11: 33-36, "How great are God's riches! How deep are his wisdom and knowledge! Who can
explain his decisions? Who can understand his ways? As the scripture says, 'who knows the mind of the Lord?
Who is able to give him advice? Who has ever given him anything, so that he had to pay it back?'
For all things were created by him, and all things exist through him and for him. To God be the glory forever!
God uses the evil things that happen in the world to teach His children. Sometimes a child will indulge in sin
for a little while and for others it will take a lifetime for them to figure out what they are doing wrong. As parents
we must never stop loving our child. We must forgive their wrongs and pray for God's will to be done in their
lives. I know this is not easy to do, but you must preserve for the sake of your child.
I know what it is like to want to instruct your child according to the scriptures, but once they reach a certain
age you can't make them do what is right. You can push God at them to the point that they will turn away from
As Parents it is your Christian duty to never give up on your child! This is the reason why you must love a
grandchild that was born out of lust. This is why you must not judge your son or daughter because they will find
out from raising their own child why they need God's influence in their lives. God is not a wimp! He will not allow
His children to go astray forever, but in His time, He will bring them back!
Many parents, churches, and society look at rebellion as unforgivable. Tattoos to hair colors and body
piercing may upset some people, but his or her outward appearance is not as important as what is in the heart.
You are being tested just like your child is being tested. Don't fail the test of a parent and give up! You must
place your trust in God and believe that He has your child's best interest in mind; even if you think your child is
too bad to be saved.
When you are in a world game everything that happens in the world teaches you! This is the reason why
there are examples of evil. This is the reason why there are repercussions for sin. Sin creates evil in the hearts
of men and because men are weak in their human nature, they fail many tests.
Anyone that has had a sexually transmitted disease learned from the lifestyle they indulged in. Teen
pregnancy teaches the ramification of having sex without thinking about the responsibility that goes with it.
When a friend dies from driving drunk or being high on the latest drug, the people affected learn from that event.
Anyone you hang out with becomes an example of either good or bad and what happens when you don't control
how much you put into your body.
We are in a teaching world where parents must be smart about how the game of life is played. You must hold
onto God principles without holding them over your child's head. You must love unconditionally and take the
fights with your child one at a time. Let go of the past problems and love. Most of all you must pray and ask
God every single day to protect your child from Satan.
Satan is your child's biggest opponent. He will tempt your child over and over again to over indulge. Pray
the Lord's Prayer every day and listen to the words and you will understand that Jesus gave parents just the
right words to fight Satan's attacks on your family.
Bailey spent many years of his life rebelling against those who loved him most. His parents loved him
anyway. They stood by Him. They prayed for him and as time passed, God became a powerful influence over
Bailey's life once again, because his parents refused to give up on him.